Henry James in Paris

I am not a writer, nor Would I ever consider myself as one. HOWEVER, today I am writing, as I will call it, "The Outsider," for I feel nothing more or less than Such. I am an outsider in a way That Which everyone surrounding me semble To Understand and recounts, while I am a cast in the shadows Attempting to slip off half of the mask. The past weeks-have-been ones of exploration and searching of the soul purpose the results are Reviews some of disappointment while others achievement. New York City is a world of comfort; hence it is a place Where I feel the Opportunity of choice. New York City is one to Be in the bones, Where icts of experience is pure confidence, qui masks the ultimate bliss. I, now in Paris, yet-have to experience this bliss masks confidence That goal injustement bliss That masks confidence. Eugene Lang of New York City is pure freedom while Parsons of Paris has-been, to me at least so far, claustrophobic. This claustrophobia, Caused by minute selection of shopping and Opportunity, feels as if There Is No freedom of choice, and is one of my reasoning's of feeling as the outsider.

Henry James Was the author of the past week reading and It Was as alien to me as Paris Itself, for I have never read in Such Ways That he writes. Henry James: has a style of complication. His literary style of realism is more of one of dense, poetic symbolism- One That disturbed my mind in grasping. There is a connection to the writing style of James and of Hemingway, They Produce for life on paper through Their perception. DESPITE this comparison, Hemingway's style is more of simplistic and live goal aussi Extremely visual. James too, is His purpose visual optical is one of philosophy. Yet, the two approach Identifying Ways in not just life, purpose life in Paris.

As Mentioned Earlier, the results since my arrival in Paris-have-been ones of disappointment and achievement. Achievements Their way-have made in my life Bombarding of the new. Squares, art, food, people, language, architecture, and way of living- it is all new. New is of One That excited me the most. Purpose what is this disappointment? There semble to Be a dark hole That is lying Beneath this electric flesh That Is barricading what-have-been shoulds the confidence and bliss That Was expected. Maybe it is the act of expecting. ALTHOUGH with only twenty years of life, it has occurred to me when one abides by the act of prediction, negative positive or, the aftermath always fails to triumph.

Now, this pessimism shoulds not and tells Does not Itself to Paris, for the city is full of beauty, and when to one is cornered by beauty, happiness OCCURS. It is not that There Is No happiness being white felt, for it is That Is being white lacked confidence, and when to one Lacks confidence, one Lacks independence. As I am writing this, the root of the problem HAS finally Become clear in ict path. It is fear. The dark hole lying beneath my electric flesh is fear. Is it possible, That it is the fear That fears me? Is it fear That is holding back the light That Was Prepared to take advantage of Every Opportunity of the new city this HAS to offer? What if it is fear of the new, fear of letting go of What Was ounce convenient and being white now forced to appreciate the excruciating awkwardness?  What is ironic about this current state Is That This Was the reasoning of leaving New York City, That Place is so familiar now being white milliers of miles away.

Fear, disappointment, discomfort, are what my body swarm When I Am Placed in a position Where I feel as if I do not understand, do not Belong. This is true in the case That It is intimidating to Attempt to speak French because i do not, ALTHOUGH know enough and Could Easily put sentences together, aim INSTEAD stick to English and you still feel a fool. This is why aussi going out alone, other than familiar places, Has not Happened yet. My disappointment is now the equivalent of Lack of confidence and independence. When reading this is so, for example, Henry James; One Whose literary style Appears Unfamiliar, is difficulty to Understand, and requires full consideration. Feeling as a fool. This is yet Reviews another That falls under the genre of my disappointment, Even a subgenre of my fear. Purpose maybe this is the reasoning of coming to Paris, to learn not to feel as a fool Even When wrong or clueless. What is wrong with being white wrong or clueless? It is not okay to Be and Knowledgeable of everything, right? These are things, qui need to Log Become an acceptance and a closure, for, confidence and independence And Then Will Be Regained and the outsider Will Be Diminished.